You’re Still Sovereign: Birth Story of Simone
I’ll never forget that day in May when I sat on the couch just one day shy of 41 weeks of pregnancy. It was nearly midnight and I was not able to sleep because it felt like my stomach was turning in knots. I continued to try to find every position possible to cope with the discomfort I was feeling. Shortly after, I went to the bathroom, it appeared to be that I had lost more of my mucus plug. I also felt the contractions kicking in. I immediately went to tell Marquis and let him know that we needed to call the hospital and tell them my contractions were starting to come closer together. I spent some time on the exercise ball while Marquis pressed through my back every time a new contraction came. Eventually, we decided to head to the hospital that was located fifteen minutes away from our apartment around 1:30 am. I vividly remember walking into the hospital with a yellow maternity shirt and pants.
Earlier that day, I wrote in my journal:
“Tomorrow morning I am set to get induced with Pitocin at 7 am. Although this is set in the plan, I know anything is still possible between now and the time for Simone to come. This journey has truly stretched our faith, dependence, trust in God, and guidance by the Holy Spirit. I pray Marquis and I rest in Jesus and get physical rest.”
Deep down in my heart, I desired and communicated with the Lord that I did not want to get induced once I checked into the hospital. All I could do was do my part by standing in faith and believing in the sovereignty of God each hour. I am thankful that my contractions started to kick in more past midnight which assured me that I wouldn’t need to get induced at the scheduled time.
The week before birth, I wrote statements for childbirth that I gathered from a blog as well as scriptures to focus on. Some of the statements included were:
“We will take one contraction at a time; God’s grace is sufficient for us.
“We don’t need to prove ourselves to anyone to try to pretend the pain isn’t real. The Lord knows how Makayla feels.
“God is with us. He is our strength and our hope”
We then followed up with scriptures like: “And our hope for you is firm because we know that just as you share in our suffering, so also you share in our comfort”. 2 Corinthians 1:7
Despite the pain that can come with childbirth; we wanted to make sure the Holy Spirit was involved no matter the outcome. When Marquis parked in front of the door, I was guided in a wheelchair because the contractions were hitting and I needed to save all my energy for the birth room. It didn’t take long before the nurses decided to admit me to a room instead of going to triage. They got me admitted and checked in when they discovered I was 5cm dilated and consistently contracting. For a short second, I was wishing I labored at home a little longer but there was no turning back, things were moving along and I was in active labor. By 3:30 am, the nurses broke the rest of my water.
My mother was able to get access inside the hospital at 7 am. Before she came, we set the atmosphere with praise and worship. I was having an encounter with Jesus, quoting scriptures, and praying. The Holy Spirit was truly in the room. My mother being in the room helped to bring praise, prayer, and comfort to my hospital room. I was standing in strength I knew I did not have on my own.
At one point during the labor, a nurse came in and said, “You can try dancing.” Me, dancing? I didn’t even think about that. Say no more! Anyone who knows me knows that I love to dance. I cranked up some KB, Lecrae, and Trip Lee. I started moving like I was ready for the baby to come in the next ten minutes. It sure did help my contractions a bit more. Because of the COVID restrictions, I could not walk the halls but for some time in the room, I was grooving until I wanted to pause and rest again.
As the contractions came, I would do my best to focus on worshiping God just like we practiced and confessed days before labor. Moving forward, staying at 7 cm was exhausting. I texted my godmother who lives in Texas and had four unmedicated births. I wish I had the text message saved but she sent me a word of encouragement to press through and let me know she was praying for me. After a little more time, I went ahead and Pitocin to help my contractions move along after being stuck at 7 cm for a couple of hours. I had no idea that it was going to kick up my contractions. I was very unaware of the effects the Pitocin would have on my body. They were coming faster, sharper, and more painful. I was not expecting this and had no epidural administered to me. After a few more contractions, I started to rethink getting an epidural. I asked the nurse about it and she said she would have to check my progress first.
When she did, we found out that I was 8 cm dilated. As hard as it was for my mother to see me in pain, she gave me this proud mother look that encouraged me to finish the last 2 cm without the medication. Going from 8cm to 10cm seemed the longest and most painful. At this point, I stopped dancing and tried other things recommended by the nurse. Finally, I got to 10cm after all the different strategies and techniques to move Simone down the birth canal.
My doctor arrived and explained to me when to start pushing and breathing through the contractions at around 11:45 am. By noon, I was in a position to start pushing. I pushed for about an hour and some minutes before getting Simone out at 7 lbs and 11 oz at 1:11 pm. That day on May 20th we became parents. I cried as I saw how beautiful she was. I was so focused on her that I was unbothered about the stitches I was receiving from having a second-degree tear. All those hours of breathing, dancing, tears, and other sacred parts in that room for 12 hours were worth it. I praise God for lifting hospital restrictions two days before birth during the height of a global pandemic so that my mother could also be in the room. Simone D. Harris, my sweet girl who is fun, active, and full of life appeared and changed our lives. I will never forget birthing her in the middle of COVID-19. She is a testimony to our home and we adore every part of her.
Childbirth taught me more about trusting God and leaning on the Holy Spirit even when you’re experiencing unexplainable fatigue and pain. It taught me how to put a shield of joy and laughter when you are unsure of what the outcome on the other side will look like.
There is a worship song that I played in the room by Ryan Oféi & Naomi Raine,
“You're still holy
Above it all, above it all
You're still sovereign
You never left Your throne, yeah
You're still holy
Above it all, above it all
You're still sovereign
You never left Your throne.
____
He's in the fire
And in the flames
He's not done working
So don't lose faith
Don't you stop praising
Just lift His name higher, higher, oh”
That is how I felt as I was pushing through the pain of childbirth. Although some of the moments felt impossible and I was ready for it to be over; the comfort of the Holy Spirit sat in the room with me. I was able to remember that God is holy above it all, even through every detail of the birthing experience. The hands of my husband who massaged my back, stood in prayer with me at the tests of times, and witnessed a birth he never forget also made me appreciate him so much more. In addition, the smile of my mother walking into the room surrounded me with more peace when I was getting weary.
My favorite part of birth was pushing because I knew that the pain I was enduring was soon going to be over. With every contraction, I knew that I was one push away from holding my little girl in my arms. I know I can look back and write out things I would have done differently, but I have a toddler girl now that reminds me every day about the faithfulness, sovereignty, and strength of God that has matured my marriage and walk with Jesus.
