Day 4 // Life Lessons Through Marriage: Cereal Bowls + Couch Convos
In the first year of our marriage, Marquis and I were grateful to have a living room full of furniture that was donated to us. Humble beginnings are a real thing in marriage and since I was in my last semester of college—every need was supplied right on time. I remember our very first blue couch in our one-bedroom apartment. The first apartment we decided to move into was in the school district I was raised in. There were so many memories that surrounded that complex. That couch was special because it was the first couch that we moved in and prayed on through the first year of our marriage. As we know, couches are usually where conversations are held in the comfiest space of your home. Sometimes though, conversations aren’t so comfy. In marriage, they can be uncomfortable as you learn from one another each day.
In our household, you will find out very quickly that we keep a nice amount of boxed cereals. Cereal can be an early-morning breakfast meal or a late-night snack on the couch as we chat about life and things like our family, our future, and ministry. Before marriage, I used to laugh at Marquis because he was also eating cereal. Now, it has grown so much in our home that even our toddler believes a bowl of cereal to be a “snack.”
Through marriage, I have learned that couch conversations your spouse has with you should remain a safe space. A space where they can share their hardships, successes, dreams, and goals. A space where trust can be established and built. Sometimes the conversations are freeing and other times they can be hard but that is what keeps you open to understanding what is on the hearts of you both. Sometimes those couch conversations result in praying for others, laughing, or simply releasing the sound about a difficult week you endured.
Cereal bowls and couch convos are something that I admire about these past five years. Yet at the early stages of marriage, I loved avoiding tough conversations because they took me out of my comfort zone. I loved to bag up my feelings until I was ready to hold what was triggering my heart. As much as I disliked it at the time, I am thankful Marquis never let the days skate by without addressing what was causing my triggers.
Triggers are not always easy to address but I have learned the importance of not allowing them to overpower the spouse God has called you to be. The beauty of ongoing communication and conversations with your spouse is that although they can't solve your issues—they can listen and even hear where things have been unspoken. And together, you learn how to walk in the unconditional love that God gives us that helps stretch, grow, and mold you both together.
This blog series is dedicated to my husband Marquis D. Harris and my readers as I write about the marital life lessons I have learned as we count down the days to our fifth-year anniversary. Click the tag #fivedaystofiveyears as you visit the blog to find a new writing piece on this series.
