Hey, God Can Handle Your Insecurities.
When I was in college, I went through a variety of seasons of discovering who God created me to be. I endured times of working harder to try to cover up things I didn’t know I was wrestling with in my heart. I was cultivating new friendships, failing at relationships, and also searching to find a space to belong by being a part of different organizations on campus. No matter how hard I tried, there were spaces that I simply could not fit in because I wasn’t designed to. Earlier in my college years, I didn’t always know how to take captive of my thoughts which left me in a deep state of insecurity. I didn’t fully come to grips with the knowledge about God being able to handle them and seal my true identity in Him instead of being a part of things that were only void fillers in my life. There were many red flags thrown my way that were not grabbing my attention in the healthiest ways. Throughout my life, I have always been an ambitious person and involved in sports and extracurricular activities. Because I was so invested in those things in high school, I tried carrying some of those same things into college until it was no longer working.
The basketball team I signed to join was dreadful so by the end of the year, I ended up being a part of the dance team that was enjoyable only for a season. I was so used to being involved that I didn’t notice that they were becoming void fillers in my college life. I left one school and decided to pursue life as a college cheerleader. For the first few months, it was a great idea but in the middle of it, I went through a breakup, disconnected from high school friendships, and ended up quitting the cheerleading team. As I appreciate the lessons it taught me today, I write these words to help someone reading this not to run a path of filling life up with things that can easily take the place of God. Without a rooted identity in Christ; anything can become a void filler and replace His voice and the help of the Holy Spirit.
Truthfully, after all these things occurred, it started to put a big wall of insecurities around me, but after making a few more mistakes, I decided that I would do something about it. When insecurities go unaddressed, God cannot deal with them. I had to learn how to confess my struggles out loud to the Lord and other people. I remember texting my mother about the relationships that weren’t going right. I was tired of wasting my time and starting over, but starting over with Christ is always worth it when you come out of alignment with things that God never destined for you to have in friendships and relationships.
How do I know that God can handle your insecurities? I know because he has handled every single one I have ever had. He has given me solutions to turn away from things that would cause me more pain had I not listened to His voice. In John 8: 31-32 it says, “Then Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you continue in my word, you are my disciples. You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” As Jesus shares with the Jews, He gives assurance that by knowing the truth, the truth will set one free. Knowing God’s word deeply is important to note here. There is no other void in this life that can help us navigate a life of freedom. The end phrase to “insecurity” is “security”. Insecurities prevent us from fully operating in everything Christ can provide for us. But, we have to know what God’s truth is by being a student of His word and not only by the idea of what people have said about Him.
How did I begin the phase of overcoming some insecurities in college? I will never forget when I faithfully joined a Bible Study on campus from a motherly figure at a local church I started to go to near my college. I started to replace the things that were not good for me with the things that were good for me. I began to grow more in my identity and be released from some bad habits that were causing me more harm than freedom. I didn’t just listen to the word of God, I started to apply it so that I could live it. In grade school, you were listed as a tattletale when you told about what someone else had done. Honestly, sometimes we need to be that with God when it comes to our insecurities so that He can love and correct us so that we can be shown the way to navigate a fruitful life. This is why the scripture says, “for it is written, Be holy, because I am holy." (1 Peter 1:16). We can be a tattletale with God when it comes to our insecurities, heartache, and pain. We can come honest and find safety in His arms. We can come with a heart of repentance so that we can be reconciled through the blood of Christ.
Although I didn’t finish my years at that school, I can look back and see the fruit I started to bear by the time I left. I put an end to any relationships with guys that didn’t work out. I moved on from organizations I desperately wanted to be a part of. I went back home to Kansas City and allowed the Lord to fill my cup. It wasn’t an easy process but restoration in the Lord is always worth it because satan would love for us to keep seeing the damaged version of ourselves. 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Confession to Christ and opening up our hearts to deal with our insecurities gives Him access to truly purify us from them all. We can’t solve them on our own but with the help of Jesus, we can be cleansed and gain a foot forward.
A Prayer: “Dear Jesus, I know that I have some deep insecurities in my heart. Expose each one of them so that I may walk more confident in You and be at peace in all areas of my life. Thank you, Lord, that you can handle my insecurities that have been rooted in all past pain. Help me to confess where I have fallen short so that I could be cleansed by the blood of Christ. I repent Lord for not trusting You to fill me up from voids that distract me from fully pursuing You. Thank you, Lord, that I am loved by You because You desire what is best for me and my insecurities”. Amen.
