The Things That Shape + Grow You

Five years ago today, April 28, 2017, to be exact, I remember the feeling of butterflies floating around in my belly as I anticipated a very big day. My fiancé was packing his things up in his black compact car and hauling his belongings to move to Kansas City from Texas, the place he has known his entire life. In the eyes of others, this may all have looked very fast-paced. The same year I met my husband, was the same year we got engaged. Truthfully, I could understand why this seemed like a fairytale blur that would not result in a fairytale ending. Thankfully, there was no Netflix and Chill type of fantasy to this love.

I sit here as I listen to my husband sleeps on our gray couch and think about all the things love has taught me over the past five years. But not just any love, the love of Jesus. I reflect on the times we would Skype day in and day out because we were eight hours away from each other with only a car or plane ride in between us. I would stare, listen, and hear my heart beating at the rhythm of his voice across the screen that gave me the itch to yearn for more of his time.

 I was 21 years old at the time of meeting my husband. At that time I was a junior in college, living under my parent’s roof, and had no driver’s license. There was a huge part of me that felt I was far behind from where I should be in the early stages of my “adult” womanhood.

With an engagement, a wedding, and two children, there are a lot of things to unpack in the last five years. For a long period I thought I was no good for marriage. Previously, my relationships failed over and over again and I often found myself in a bubble of wishful thinking. 

I look back and reflect on the woman I was at the time. I  had a lot of questions about what life would look like in my early 20s. What would I do after I graduated college? Would this be the person I would seriously be marrying? There were so many things I proudly accomplished in my early 20s and I knew there would be so many more things that would grow me.

The Things That Help Shape You

I chuckle as I think about the early conversations I had with my husband before we even became a thing. I was studying Spanish and honestly, doing a very poor job at it. When I encountered him, I found out in our very first conversation that he was bilingual. What was the amazing thing about that? I ran into someone interested in getting to know me yet also invested in helping me complete my Spanish studies. I spent my last two years of college writing papers, planning a wedding, and moving out of my parent’s house. These were all very major life changes yet they all helped shape and mold me into the woman I am today. 

I think it is important to look back on different seasons of our lives and take inventory of where we have grown and who we have become. I am not the person I was five years ago and am sure I will evolve again five years from now. Looking back is not always a bad thing. It is an opportunity to appreciate where you have been and the little life changes that pushed, challenged, and changed you. 

The Things That Grow You

Kansas City has always been home for me. I never really saw myself outside of this space but I was sure that I would one day get married, and the location I called home would change. I was wrong. I vividly remember sitting on Skype with my husband and us both getting a “what if” check in our hearts. What if we are supposed to be in Kansas City? As much as this was a hard place for my husband to uproot and leave his hometown, it was the place God was leading him to. Two people, yet two different changes. One leaving her parent’s home and the other leaving his hometown. Both leaving the space they have always known and were comfortable in. The things that grow us are usually a result of leaving spaces we have always been extremely comfortable with.

Five years, there are so many things I could unpack here but I want to leave you with a reminder. Life is all about being shaped in a way that helps grow us into the person we are today. I am so thankful for the unfamiliar. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but it always results in a life-changing experience.

This blog is dedicated to my amazing husband Marquis D. Harris that moved from Kansas City five years ago today. I thank you for helping me become who I am today by taking the leap to pursue and stick beside me day in and day out. I love you.