Give me More Fruit
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
It is currently 8:49 pm as I type this final blog of the year as I have these last few months pertaining to new motherhood. 2020 has been a lot. There have been joyful moments. There have been sad moments. There have been moments of the unknown. There have been a lot of different things that have shifted our world in so many ways.
As I was reflecting the other day, I thought about where I was in my 20s. As I have entered seven months postpartum, I have found these past several weeks frustrating. I have found myself discouraged about the changes my body is still going through and quite frankly, exhausted trying to grow in patience with my daughter who is still not at a place of sleeping through the night.
How did I respond to those things? Well, I will have to be honest and tell you that every response wasn't the greatest as it reflected my feelings of frustration. Do you remember how I talked about the Unspoken Words of Motherhood in my last blog? There have been so many changes that no one can prepare you for.
A few days ago, I was sitting on the couch reading my Risen Motherhood book and there was a line that jumped out at me. It said, "When motherhood feels hard, I often want to blame my circumstances, children, or husband. But my biggest problem with motherhood is myself. When I worry about tomorrow's schedule or get frustrated because my morning alone time is short, my heart is revealing what is already there; misplaced worship of my own comforts and control. Can you relate?"
Of course I can, I can relate to it all. I reflected on that and took a step back to reflect even more. I began to think about how Galatians reminds us of the fruit of the spirit which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.
Closing out the year 2020, I made up my mind that my word for the New Year would be "fruit bearer." At times, motherhood is a stretch and I am longing for more peace, more self-control, and more patience, I want to remind myself that God is with me to order my steps of motherhood and give me the grace to endure.
I want to be a fruit-bearing mom that is graced to respond in a way that will always lead me to show love, gentleness, patience, self-control, and all the other fruits to my daughter. Even though postpartum body changes. Even with clothes and toys scattered across the floor. Even though growing in parenting with my spouse. Even though the sporadic pains from childbirth. Even in the middle of the night when I am yearning for more sleep.
So yes, give me my fruit to produce a greater impact on the very ones I serve every day. Galatians 5:23-24 reads, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ]gentleness, self-control. Against such, there is no law." I am looking forward to learning, growing, bearing fruit, and more tiny moments of motherhood.
Thank you for journeying with me this year and following me through the postpartum journey. Cheers to seven months of the new mom life and a brand new year! Hello 2021
