Unspoken Words of Motherhood Explained
Photo by Flávia Gava on Unsplash
What do you see? It can all be so different in every person's eye. The exciting gender reveals. The transformation of the womb. The carrying of the baby for nine months. The beautiful baby being born and the cute photos being shared with family and friends. Before you dive into this blog piece, I want you to take a second to watch this 50 second video I created titled, "Unspoken Words of Motherhood.”
Pause. Now, what comes to your mind? As exciting as it is to know my beautiful daughter Simone is officially six months old. It also marks a milestone for motherhood six months into my postpartum journey. Six months into growing and becoming more of what I did not know that I could be for myself, my daughter, and my spouse. The cute family pictures. The baby updates. The baby's doctor appointments every two months. But wait, I only get one postpartum checkup? It's been six weeks post-birth, and why am I still feeling pain, contractions, and bleeding? Why is it still hard for me to move out the bed some days? And when can I stop using this peri bottle? The doctor told me it would take six weeks to heal so why am I not feeling completely healed? Or is this what they just say on paper when being released from the hospital?
I thought I prepared myself for everything I needed to know postpartum. I had all the things I needed to help me heal yet still left with so many questions when I got home. What did the nurse say again on how to use this product? How many pads do I need to use in a day, a week? Great, I think we need to go buy some more. And what was the method the lactation consultant told me to use for breastfeeding? I suck at this, where is the formula instead? Why isn't the breastmilk coming in the day they said it would? These are the thoughts and questions that frequently bombarded my brain my first few weeks of postpartum. The underlying truth and reality of new motherhood go a lot deeper than one could see. For any mom reading this, I commend you for all the things unspoken and unseen. The mental barriers that tell you that you are not capable. The expectations and timeline of when your body should heal. The unknown challenges that come with the territory of motherhood. The guilt of taking care of yourself because you feel like you don’t have time to. These past six months have been life-changing and although the beginning had its challenges and my body is still healing, here is what has helped me in my unspoken words of motherhood six months in:
Knowing God is a healer. They talk about physical healing but I would have to say I have been going through spiritual healing too. God strengthens mothers physically, mentally, and emotionally for the journey. He loves us through what the world cannot.
Knowing that I don't need to pretend how I feel. There is help for me. Many times as mothers we don't want to explain to others how we feel but the more I spoke up about what I needed, the better it helped me through the journey.
Knowing that I am doing the best I can. The days and nights are long. Remember to give yourself credit for the things that only you can do to nurture and comfort your baby. No one can do it better than you can.
Knowing that I am an image bearer of Christ. Before you became a mother, you were a daughter, a spouse, a friend, and a sibling. Most importantly you were a child of God and that has not changed. God has not changed His mind about you since becoming a mom.
The carrying. The pushing. The bleeding. The pain. The long nights. As I was writing that, you know who came to mind? Jesus. The One who had to carry the cross and push through the crowd that mocked Him. The One that had to bleed and suffer pain on the cross. The One who had to spend long nights crying out to the Father. The One who took our sins and redeemed us all by His blood. The One who promises to never leave or forsake us.
The physical weight of carrying a baby, pushing to deliver, bleeding, and staying up late night is real. But through it all, I am thankful for the little girl that was birthed from my womb six months ago. Motherhood, there are so many things that are unspoken and unseen but I can assure you that the love grows for the human you carried for nine months and although it may seem like a thankless job some days, you were made to do this. Keep thriving in it, mama.
