Remember the Days of the Old: Postpartum & Dwelling in the Psalms
Have you ever been in a season that has looked familiar to previous ones yet not quite the same? I have many times throughout my life and one thing I can appreciate about that is the reflective moments I learned. I am currently two months postpartum with our third baby as I write this and the common questions I get are, “How are you feeling? How are you adjusting to life with three children?” Honestly, the answers vary depending on the day but overall, I have been grateful for the grace God has given us to raise three children. During the first week of postpartum, I was encouraged by midwives to stay in my room for six days straight so that it could help with my healing process. I loved every minute of my husband bringing homemade cooked meals to the room and ensuring that I did not start trying to do extra things my body was not ready for. Through early postpartum, I was extremely grateful I had midwives I could check in with regularly. One thing that I learned through previous postpartum seasons was to check in with myself and ask for help when necessary. Pride can easily convince me that I need to be much stronger and ahead but that is not what others often expect of me in my motherhood. I had to grow over the years in learning my limitations and the things that could set me back if I was not attentive to them.
Breastfeeding Blues:
During the first week of postpartum with our third baby Gracelyn, I was so sure that breastfeeding would be a breeze. I had this confidence that breastfeeding would be so smooth because I had done it twice before and it was not. I was in disbelief that I was struggling to get her to fully latch easily. I have done this before so this should be super easy right? No, I needed just as much support as I did after our first birth. One of my midwives sat next to me to assist me and I thought to myself, “This is hard right now but we will get it before the day is over. I won’t need a lactation.” Until the night went on and I was catching soreness in my breast that was painful. I knew for a fact that breastfeeding should not cause pain so I decided to use my lactation visit. I did not know how much of a blessing that would be for me. I knew Gracelyn was getting milk because of her wet diapers yet deep down I was quietly fearful that she was not getting enough. When the lactation came to my house, she taught me a new position to help Gracelyn latch better and since that day, I have not had a problem with breastfeeding this third time.
The Lesson: It is okay to ask for help in areas that you thought you once mastered. Sometimes a refresh is needed in order to reset.
Postpartum Blues:
11 days postpartum I reached out to my midwives because I went through a week of a lot of anxiety. Given I had quite a bit of anxiety postpartum with our firstborn, I knew what signs to look out for. I was grateful that I could be honest with my midwives and look into some holistic approaches for hormonal balancing. I think that a piece of that hard week was overcoming challenges with breastfeeding. They shared about things for sleep support and I tried to change some things right away like ensuring I was taking naps, getting to bed at a good time at night, and not trying to be in a rush to maneuver time downstairs with the family. I also had to give myself the space to navigate the start of life with three children in our home. I blinked and it seemed as if everyone was tossing all their needs at me at one time. I loved how much my other two children wanted to bond with their sister yet I also had moments of being overwhelmed because I wanted to be in control of making sure they were gentle with her. Marquis would continually remind me that I did not need to rush to get back into a rhythm. I can remember so many times when I wondered what life would be like when I fully had to be attentive to all the kids at one time. “What if I can’t handle them all?” “What if their needs are much more demanding than before?” “What will my husband need from me after I heal a little more?” That is truly how anxiety starts. It will get you to reflect on future questions that you don’t have to have the answer to at the moment. Marquis spent time allowing me to set a much-necessary pace for myself and I surely didn’t need to put a superwoman cape on after having a new baby.
The Lesson: Being honest about where you are struggling is not a form of weakness. It is wise to be honest to move forward in the most healthy ways possible.
Postpartum blessings:
Gratitude is what has kept my heart in place and my eyes on the Lord when times have felt overwhelming. Thinking and journaling on how good God is to give us the capacity to raise three children. I reflected on all the times he was with me when I was having hard moments in past postpartum seasons and God remained alongside me, strengthening me in every learning moment. Being able to have Marquis off work again for the entire month and having midwives who graciously supported me through an amazing home birth. Surrounding ourselves with community through friendships and the local church has brought us great joy in growing as a family of five. I shared on my Instagram page about a Psalms I have been reading through during postpartum and I am going to share those words here. “Remember the days of the old.” I wrote it down as a reminder and stuck it in my mirror. What does David mean in scripture by saying, “I remember the days of the old?” He is taking a moment to reflect on the goodness of God through past times. He takes time to meditate on all God has done and reflect on God’s work. David himself had no easy life. He endured his own pain, trials, crisis, and sin against God. Despite the past, he spent time (as shared in the Psalms) acknowledging those things to the Lord and brought praise to Him, continually.
That speaks to me because, in the hard or good part of our days, we have the opportunity to reflect on the days of the old with the Lord. As I sit here in another postpartum season, I look at this Psalms as a reminder of how faithful God was in past postpartum seasons. He kept me through worry and anxiety. He provided for our family. He strengthened my emotional wellness. He brought comfort when the world was in turmoil. He put courage and contentment in my heart and he’s doing it again in new ways.
To remember is to recall to the mind. I am not sure where you are right now but I encourage you to recall to mind the things God has done in the “days of the old.” To bring the past, the trials, the weakness, the uncertainty, the trauma...etc. Because pain points are never an absence of God’s presence. Through the in-between, God grants us new mercies, joys, and victories. Those are the things we can recall.
God hears. So, spread out your hands to Him.
Psalm 143:
A psalm of David.
1 Lord, hear my prayer.
In your faithfulness listen to my plea,
and in your righteousness answer me.
2 Do not bring your servant into judgment,
for no one alive is righteous in your sight.
3 For the enemy has pursued me,
crushing me to the ground,
making me live in darkness
like those long dead.
4 My spirit is weak within me;
my heart is overcome with dismay.
5 I remember the days of old;
I meditate on all you have done;
I reflect on the work of your hands.
6 I spread out my hands to you;
I am like parched land before you. Selah
7 Answer me quickly, Lord;
my spirit fails.
Don’t hide your face from me,
or I will be like those
going down to the Pit.
8 Let me experience
your faithful love in the morning,
for I trust in you.
Reveal to me the way I should go
because I appeal to you.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, Lord;
I come to you for protection.
10 Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God.
May your gracious Spirit
lead me on level ground.
11 For your name’s sake, Lord,
let me live.
In your righteousness deliver me from trouble,
12 and in your faithful love destroy my enemies.
Wipe out all those who attack me,
for I am your servant.
