Open Letter: To The One I Met At 21 // Happy 30th Birthday Husband!
You were 23 years old when I first met you. I was a 21-year-old college student finishing my last year of college. To be honest, turning 30 seems cool–but I really won’t know what that is like for another two years. I think the thought of you turning 30 is special to me because you’re the man God designed to carry me through my 20s and the years to come, forever. Perhaps, I don’t want to make this about me, but I write this piece as a reflection and inspiration to others. To shed hope that God can build men like you to do great things.
I want to tell it through the lens that I have been able to view these past seven years of knowing you. The beauty of knowing you as your wife is that God knows you more. I have witnessed Him humble you as you navigate through life in your 20s. I have seen Him walk with you through trials, errors, and mistakes that shaped you to become stronger and wiser. As a black man, to see this age is a glorious milestone. It is a celebration of life when death tries to scream its final say on black men in our society today.
You are a climber of barriers and life obstacles that some would not understand how you made it through. We need people that can gracefully climb through barriers in this life. We need men that are willing to stretch themselves to become all that God has called them to be. Many people don’t know the sweetest and even not-so-sweet parts of your story. But privately, I know you have sat across tables to tell other men how you got through. How you navigated through areas of life that should have pushed you back or held resentment in your heart.
You are courageous in the unknown yet a visionary for the future. I remember when you showed me your detailed plan of when you would propose to me after it all happened. I will never forget the night I was riding in the car after the Cheesecake Factory blindfolded. I thought, “There is absolutely no way this man is going to boldly propose to me without asking my Dad for my hand.” But if anyone knows you, they know that you are a budget master and had that part planned out. You take your finances seriously which explains why you courageously bought the ring without me knowing, and drove down to Kansas City from Texas WITH the ring to ask my Dad for my hand. Many may not know this, but you traveled in faith that he would approve your desire to marry me to then set up the proposal two days later. That is bold and courageous. But really, we need that in our world today. Men that are built with courage and are sure of the places God is calling them to.
You are a planter of mustard seed-like faith and a trusted soul that keeps your word. Wrapping up a semester of college before our wedding day, I wondered, “Who is going to pay for this semi-fancy hotel we are staying in?” For me, it was another step of trust I had to take as a very young wife. You replied, “It will be taken care of.” We opened up each card that our amazing wedding guests sent and it covered every single dime that we owed the hotel. You sat calmly on the bed with confidence in the Lord as a provider. We also need people like that in this world. That can look at a problem situation, moment, or circumstance and see that the outcome is not bigger than what God can do.
You are not quick to complain. You take each moment and day at a time to embrace life around you. I can recall being a wife my first year in the kitchen was filled with pressures that I had to know what I was doing. So many days I didn’t know, but you paused to comfort my imperfections and remind me that God didn’t call me to be your superwoman. We have a lot of complainers in this world, at times, I can be one of those, but you take time to challenge my perspective to see that the outcome of different seasons of life is not as bad as it seems. We need people like that in this world—that can see that life is much more precious than the credit we don’t take the time to give it.
Lastly,
You are a voice and advocate for others. I see when you’re passionate about elevating the voices of people around you and being in spaces that can be hard to navigate. But I always tell you, you were made for hard things and we need people like that in this world. We need people that can take the roles that others would rather toss aside. That can show up with poise, courage, resilience, and even patience when the hardest of things in this world seem unfavorable and heavy.
As you have officially closed out your entire 20s, I say, keep showing up and shining in the way God would have you to. Happy 30th Birthday to my one and only, Marquis, D Harris. My husband, my companion, my best friend.
