Fitness, Freckles, & Five Months

I am sitting on my bed at 6 am thinking about a lot of things. Mainly the need to go to the restroom but currently stuck holding my daughter in my arms.

Five months into postpartum has officially hit and this month hit a little bit differently. Last month I shared about the Joys of Four Months into Motherhood. Although I do wholeheartedly still enjoy this postpartum journey, there are some things I battle with daily, one of those things being “freckles” and recommended physical therapy to strengthen my stomach muscles.

Why did I title this “Fitness, Freckles, & Five Months?” I was at my parent’s house when my niece pointed out that I had freckles on my face. She was very genuine about it and I didn’t think about what she meant at all until one day, I went to go take a selfie and realized my face had broken even more. I thought I looked so disgusting, but for my niece, they were just freckles. No filter could cover up my “freckles” known as postpartum acne.

I reflected on pictures and could see how much my face changed. Honestly, I am not always confident when those “freckles” appear when I view myself in the mirror but I’m learning to embrace the beauty scars of motherhood.

Now let’s talk about fitness. I am a petite woman so usually when people see me, they tell me that I “bounced right back” from birth. But did I? My back is sore weekly, my stomach feels bloated after full meals and sometimes have a bulge that pokes out that prevents me from wearing my favorite tight-fitted shirts.

Earlier this month, I decided to go get checked up by my doctor. Isn’t it crazy that moms are only challenged to have ONE postpartum checkup? I began to explain to her what I have been feeling in my body. She confirmed that I had diastasis recti. You may be familiar with this term because it is common among pregnant women.

Healthline describes diastasis recti to be “the partial or complete separation of the rectus abdominis, or “six-pack” muscles, which meet at the midline of your stomach. Diastasis recti are very common during and following pregnancy. This is because the uterus stretches the muscles in the abdomen to accommodate your growing baby.”

My doctor explained that diastasis recti were causing my bloating, typically after large meals. Some days it feels very tender and some days I don’t feel it at all. There were so many times when I would get dressed and have to change because the bulge in my stomach would show. It often left me insecure about my postpartum body.

Physical therapy has been recommended to me by my doctor to get my stomach muscles back in alignment and although I know it will be beneficial, I am thinking about how to fit yet another thing into my family schedule. Between the “freckles” on my face and stretch marks that sit across my stomach with a bulge, I am learning every day to embrace these beauty scars of motherhood.

As I was writing this, the scripture that came to me was Romans 12:1-2,

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:1-2)

My body and my faith are at work throughout my postpartum journey. I have to continue to be transformed into the likeness of Christ daily in my mind, body, and spirit. These things must remain in alignment to live out His perfect will for motherhood, even though my acne, stretch marks, and fatigue.

I read part of a blog on “When Motherhood Feels like Death” on the Gospel Coalition and the writer wrote, “In Romans 12:1 Paul says that because of all Christ has accomplished for us, there are implications—offer your body as a living sacrifice. Whatever path God calls us to, whether it’s motherhood, full-time ministry, work in the marketplace, or a combination of all three, we’re always to be offering our service as a sacrifice to the Lord.”

For the mother reading this and enduring all the postpartum beauty and struggles, I want you to remember that this work of motherhood is a ministry and we don’t have to carry the weight alone. We have the sweet whisper of the Holy Spirit and the truth of God’s word to carry us through tough moments. We are not perfect but Christ did a perfect work for us so we can rely on him for wisdom, strength, guidance, and assurance to carry us through postpartum. Our marks don’t always feel like beauty and it’s okay to not feel like you’re at a place to embrace them right now. I am cheering for you and your journey through the life of motherhood, a life that we learn to grow in and adapt to.