Years ago, shortly after my husband and I got married, I found myself sitting on the couch scrolling on social media as my husband relaxed and was super invested in one of his hobbies, gaming. Overtime, I caught myself in the same pattern as my husband grew to find things he enjoyed doing like going to the gym, running, or calling one of his friends to get a match on his PlayStation.

Growing up as a little girl, I remember the excitement I felt when my mother took me to the library. For a few summers, I would participate in a challenge to read twenty books by a certain date. Junie B. Jones was my favorite chapter book series and I could not wait until it was time to go back to check out more after I was finished.

I remember growing up as a little girl in the suburban areas of Kansas City. As I entered preschool, my parents made the decision to put me and my brother in a Christian private school that was close to the inner city.

Do you remember walking into the library as a child and looking at all the books that filled up the shelves? Do you remember taking children’s books to read a home?

The art of motherhood is hard work and although I don’t see how all the pieces are going to unfold, and the art of it doesn’t always seem to be coming together….

As I was reflecting the other day, I thought about where I was in my 20s. As I have entered seven months postpartum, I have found these past several weeks frustrating. I have found myself discouraged about the changes my body is still going through and quite frankly,

What do you see? It can all be so different in every person's eye. The exciting gender reveals. The transformation of the womb. The carrying of the baby for nine months.

I reflected on pictures and could see how much my face changed for the worse in my eyes. Honestly, I am not always confident when those “freckles” appear when I view myself in the mirror but I’m learning to embrace the beauty scars of motherhood.

Early morning September, 6, 2020 I got that call that my grandfather went to his new Heavenly home. Our family anticipated that this time would be coming, but we just didn’t know when.